i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
