Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
