So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
organizing the empties. That sober.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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