there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
