I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
