How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize