Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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