Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I look better un-naked...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need a beard to bite.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
