i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
