WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
