Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
These tits shall not be calmed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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