I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
