Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
