hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
