I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
