i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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