wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize