Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
