I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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