Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
