There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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