happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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