i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
