Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
