So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
