At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
