I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
