im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
