There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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