Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
