I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize