Your mouth is God's brothel.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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