This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
