It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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