if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
