this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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