Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
