So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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