i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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