I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
