nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
