is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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