I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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