We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize