I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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