if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
