he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
