so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
