Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
