got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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