im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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