Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
