i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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