Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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