Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
