First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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