So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
