I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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