If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
