these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize