Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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